It is reported in a hadith
أكمل المؤمنين إيماناً أحسنهم خلقاً
The most perfect of the believers in faith, is the one with the best behaviour among them.
Good deeds are a gift and favour from Allah SWT which creates noor and brightness in our hearts but it is important to preserve it. Unpleasant behavior ruins all of these hard-earned bounties.
My Shaikh Hazrat Maulana Hakim Muhammad Akhtar sb RA says that the most perfect of all believers are not mentioned as those who offer tahajjud or perform nafl fastings rather it is the behavior.
Our Prophet Muhammad’s [PBUH] behavior is the guideline for us. He not only forgave his staunchest opponents upon overpowering them at the conquest of Mecca but, right after that, also blessed the newly converts with a lot of booty after the battle of Hunayn.
My Shaikh says that even if we find our relatives at fault we should not wait for them to ask for forgiveness. Do not stop meeting and greeting them and giving them gifts. تَهَادَوْا تَحَابُّوا. Giving gifts is actually a means of increasing compatibility and love.
However, at times, we find ourselves at the crossroads where we have to choose between appeasing the society and obeying Allah SWT. In all such scenarios opting to appease the society will lead to ruin the purpose of life.
It is reported in a hadith لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق that it is forbidden to disobey the Creator in order to appease the society.
My Shaikh, Hazrat Maulana Hakim Muhammad Akhtar RA used to advise that if a person invites us to his/her wedding party where some immoral acts are expected to take place, even in such situations instead of becoming harsh we should give them presents before the wedding date and explain the reason of our absense from the party in a decent manner.
Radoolullah Sallallahoalaihe Wasallam advises that we should try to mend fences with those who push us back, support those who withdraw their support from us, and forgive all those who perform injustices to us. This is the glimpse of behavior that we should try to practice.
صِلْ مَن قَطَعَك وأَعْطِ مَن حَرَمَك واعْفُ عمّن ظَلَمَك
We must ask ourselves as to who deserves our attention the most and start the journey towards perfection.